Honoring Marriage Once Again

"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." (Hebrews 13:4)

Recent statistics have revealed, once again, that the divorce rate of the church is dangerously similar to that of the unbelieving world. After being confronted with this fact and questioned as to the reason this is so, Dr. Richard Land replied, "It's because, for too long, the church has been quoting the bible by the mile and living it by the inch!" Agreed.

Why is this so? Why is the church no different in the success rate of it's marriages? Want the painful (but true) answer? Here it is: the church has forgotten how to honor marriage.

The Greek word for honor here is timios--which means "most precious."

The most precious relationship a man and woman could ever have between one another is the one-flesh union of marriage. And, it is worth fighting for. Even when things get difficult. Even if it turns out to be a little different than what you initially imagined it to be. Even if. Even if. Fill in the blank.

On several occasions growing up, I have heard the expression "nothing worthwhile comes easily." The older I get and the more I learn about myself, I find this statement to be incredibly true!

Marriage is not simply an event. Marriage is not a one-lane street of self-indulgence and satisfaction. Marriage is a commitment of honor! It is most precious! It is the uniting of two individuals, which were completely independent before, into a one-flesh, precious union. A union of sacrifice. A union of selflessness. A union of forgiveness. A union of making mistakes and learning from them.

Billy Graham, when asked the secret to his marriage, once said, "The secret to marriage is for two people to be very good forgivers!" Marriage is worth the forgiveness it takes to make it work. Don't give up on marriage! Don't give up on the most precious relationship you could ever have with another human being!

Let's make marriage precious "by the mile" once again! For the witness of the church! To exalt Christ! To the Glory of God!

God Bless!

Financial Tips for Black Friday

According to Business News, American consumers spent an estimated $41 billion on Black Friday in 2008. The average consumer spent $372.57 on retail purchases, a 7.2 percent increase from the year before. What does this piece of information tell us regarding our spending on Black Friday? Simply this: American consumers are becoming more confident shoppers on this day than any other shopping day during the Christmas season, if recent spending trends hold up. And given this confidence, it should be noted that there are dangers associated with spending on mega-retail days such as this. Here are a few, simple spending guidelines that I believe we would be wise to follow:


1) Know before you go.

• Even though Black Friday is considered the day of great deals, it is still necessary to understand the dangers of shopping aimlessly. The aimless shopper is much more vulnerable to the random purchase. These purchases tend to be less expensive per item, yet they end up costing more due to volume. There is not a more deceptive way to spend monies than to aimlessly purchase on Black Friday. The aimless shopper looks at their receipt after the shopping day is over and wonders how in the world they spent so much on all of those unplanned purchases.

2) Buy to keep.

• Black Friday presents a lot of "bargain" prices. And when shoppers see bargains, they are less likely to think through the implications of "bargain-based" buying. Bargain-based buying is the buying based on the "deal" and not the need/plan. The dangerous excuse for bargain-based buying is that if you change your mind or if it doesn't really fit, you can take the item back for an exchange/refund. Sometimes this type of buying is actually used as an excuse for shoppers to have a Black Friday carryover shopping day. But returning the bargains for exchange/refund can be costly. The gas to get there. The food court or the restaurant. The additional unintended purchases. The prices go up after Black Friday; therefore, many times the bargain-based purchase loses spending power when refunded. It is better (and typically less expensive) to buy what you intend to keep.

3) Don't be compulsive.

• The danger of not knowing what you intend to buy before you shop is compulsive spending. The retailers are at the consumer's mercy, but they don't want us to know that. From displays to retail shopping music, all is set up to provide a relaxed shopping experience. Avoid the tendencies to wonder away from the game plan. Make a list and stick to it. Some say it isn't as fun. I beg to differ. It is much more fun to stick to items planned for, shop for the best prices on those items, and make it home with some semblance of a budget intact than to carelessly/needlessly spend the Christmas Holiday in financial hardship.
  

I believe that these tips are helpful for any shopping day; however, extra caution must be used on the day that every consumer seems to be a little bit more willing to open up their pocket books--a 7.2 percent more. Be wise. Have fun. Be careful. God bless.

The Heartache of Forgiveness

"Now Joseph was governor over the land. He was the one who sold to all the people of the land. And Joseph’s brothers came and bowed themselves before him with their faces to the ground. Joseph saw his brothers and recognized them, but he treated them like strangers and spoke roughly to them." (Genesis 42:6-7a)

The memories had always been with him. Though it had been over thirteen years since he was handed over by his brothers, his heart still ached with bitterness. Things were better now. He had been sold into slavery. Made a servant in a high ranking official's household. Placed in charge of all of his master's house. Accused of immoral crimes he didn't commit. Locked in jail. Given discernment to interpret dreams. Released from prison. And now, Joseph was second in command over all of Egypt. His success was astounding.

Yet, his heart was still aching with bitterness. The success could not soothe the sting.

Selling grain during a severe drought came easy for Joseph. He had been granted, by God, the wisdom to portion out and sell the stored grain when the famine came. He knew the people would continue to come to buy grain. Yet, he was ill prepared for the heartache that this day would bring. As he looked into the distance, he saw strangely familiar faces coming to buy grain. His heart, as if it already knew, had begun to ache again--even before he allowed himself to recognize the faces before him. It was his brothers coming to him for help.

Joseph's story of forgiveness is a great inspiration for all of us. What is often overlooked in the midst of the celebration of reconciliation, however, is the heartache that preludes it. Joseph doesn't react in the most Christ-like manner when he speaks to his brothers. In fact, Joseph was far from being Christ-like. He was downright mean. He allowed the ache of his heart to give him a sense of hateful entitlement. His first responses were: 1) he accuses them, three times, of spying on Egypt, 2) he places them in custody for three days, and 3) he accuses them of stealing a silver cup that he planted in their midst before they departed for home.

Yet, even in the midst of the heartache, Joseph continued to struggle for a forgiving heart. Even when the pain of his heart stung the sharpest, he desired forgiveness.

Joseph's forgiveness struggle should be a great encouragement to all of us. True forgiveness doesn't mean that we no longer feel the pain. It doesn't require us to have a PhD on the subject. The lesson of forgiveness, in the closing chapters of Genesis, teaches us a very important lesson that we need to know about ourselves and the heartache of forgiveness: We don't have to be perfect forgivers in order to forgive perfectly!

So, if you have been struggling to forgive a former/current spouse, an estranged brother/sister, a fallen minister, and/or an apathetic father/mother, take courage! Forgiveness is often accompanied by the heartache of reconciling a painful, past experience with a person who, even in their absence, still causes our hearts to sting. Yet, we can remember Joseph. We can remember how he fought through the heartache. We can remember how, though he wasn't a perfect forgiver, he forgave perfectly.

May God bless you! And, may he give us the strength to forgive each other, just as in Christ God forgave us! (Ephesians 4:32)

The Aim of the Believer

"Let us fix our eyes of Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith...consider him...so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:2, 3)

Alright, I must confess. I grew up a HUGE fan of Michael Jordan. Huge! (Like Mike. If I could be like Mike. I want, I want, I want to be like Mike!) Remember the song? I remember just how amazed I was over Michael Jordan's incredible dominance on the court. I remember watching as John Paxson would nail a clutch three. I remember Dennis Rodman's crazy hair color changes, along with his dominant rebounding. I remember Scottie Pippen's dependability, even though his talents were underutilized at times. Most of all, though, I remember MJ! I remember gatorade ads. Nike ads. Wheatie ads.

Now, I knew that I was just a small-town, athletically challenged white boy, but that didn't stop me from pretending that I was MJ taking the game winning shot in the backyard every now and again. It was inspiring.

As we grow older and enter different periods of our lives, it is normal for us to draw inspiration from those who seem larger than life. The celebrity. The attention. The fame. The ability. The determination.

As Michael Jordan was inducted into the Hall of Fame this past Friday night, I had high hopes as I awaited his speech. Was it going to be a tear-jerker? Would he graciously accept the honor? And for a moment, I was back in the backyard learning to emulate Jordan's crossover move.

But, then the speech began. It started with a few tears. But soon, a few mild-mannered acknowledgments and an inappropriate profanity later, I quickly realized that although this man was super talented in basketball, he was never worthy of my emulation or aim. For a man to have had four other men on the court that helped him win multiple, multiple championships, not much credit was given. Sure a mention was given. Here and there. But as the camera scanned the crowd, it focused on some of Jordan's teammates--who seemed somewhat muffled in their applause.

For a man who played a team sport, not much gratitude was given to the team. In fact, more than anything, MJ boasted of his abilities and his determination to be the very best. But, the athletically limited youngster inside of me was hoping that more acknowledgement would be given to that clutch three-point shooter, that solid rebounder, and the consistent, dependable comrade on the court.

When the speech was over, I began to think about what kind of people we should seek to emulate in life. Immediately, I thought of Jesus. I thought of Him alone. Then I thought of his attitude toward recognition. Then I remembered the words of Paul written to the Philippian church, "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness...he humbled himself." (Philippians 2:5-8) I was reminded that we live in a world of self-exaltation. We are a prideful people. And for the few who really excel, awards and recognition can be a fuel of temptation to flame our egos. Yet, believers are called to a higher standard. Even in the midst of recognition, we are called to consider others better than ourselves. We are called to humble ourselves. We are called to be like Christ Jesus.

We should be very careful where and who we draw our inspirations from in this world. Acknowledging athletic accomplishments, academic excellences, and job achievements are all wonderful opportunities to show appreciation to those who have earned them. Yet, we must be careful when looking up to these figures. We must esteem those who receive such honors with extreme selection. The manner in which these honors are received are more telling of an individual's character than the success that led to the recognition itself.

And although we are encouraged, inspired, and challenged by such people for their accomplishments, they should never become our aim. They should never become our model. They should never become our ambition. Rather, we should, "fix our eyes upon Jesus...so that you will not grow weary and loose heart." (Hebrews 12:3)

It was a wonderful thing for me (and others like me) to be inspired by the amazing feats that Jordan accomplished on the court. As I grow in my walk with the Lord, however, it becomes increasingly clear that Jesus Christ is the only one deserving of my heart's aim. And instead of a commercial song encouraging me to "be like Mike", I can truly say, with all of my heart, that I want, I want, I want to be like Jesus! Corny, but true.

Let us make our aim in life the person of Jesus Christ. Let us fix our eyes upon Him alone. Amen.

Making the Most of our Maladies

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Philippians 1:20-21)

C.H. Spurgeon once said, "So surely as the stars are fashioned by His hands, and their orbits fixed by Him, so surely are our trials allotted to us: He has ordained their season and their place, their intensity and the effect they shall have upon us." Have you ever found yourself in the midst of a malady? If not, prepare your heart. Life is full of them. Trials, some call them. Others call them hardships. Just the words themselves are enough to make us quiver. Aren't they?

Paul is near the end of his life as he writes this letter to the church in Philippi. He is under house arrest in Rome. Shackled. Secluded. Supervised. Roman guards for companions. Is this the reward for years of faithful missionary work for the Lord? Is this the end-of-the-line for God's determined worker? Will Paul's finale result in such a great malady?

Paul didn't ask these questions. Paul viewed his malady differently than what you might expect. You see, Paul didn't gauge God's goodness in his life by the health, wealth, and prosperity teachings we hear so much of today. He didn't measure his checkbooks or reconcile his financial statements in order to determine whether or not this had been a successful season of his life. He didn't hold his chains, look toward heaven, and cry, "Why me, Lord?" Instead, Paul saw the opportunity that God had given him in his malady--and looked to make the most of it!

In fact, he taught the church in Philippi what Spurgeon would later recognize--our trials are allotted to us. God is sovereign over the maladies of life.

If we are to learn to make the most of our maladies, we must be completely surrendered to the will of the Lord and say as Paul did, "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death." We must be surrendered to God in the midst of our maladies because He is sovereign over them. We must also have courage because the outcomes might not always be what we expect them to be. Yet, we can always be sure that we have an opportunity to make the most of our troubles. We will always make the most of our hardships when the end result is that Christ is glorified by the witness we exhibit during them! Always! One-hundred percent of the time!

We have an eternal impact on those around us not when we master our maladies. Nor when we hide them from others. Nor when we ignore them altogether. Rather, we have an eternal impact when we exalt Christ through them and trust Him with the results.

Take courage! Hope! Let us give our maladies to the Lord and make the most of them (for His glory) when they come our way!

God bless.

The Danger of the Happy Hollows

"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness." (Matthew 23:27-28)

Goodness. Simple, yet pleasing to the ears, eyes, and soul. Goodness. Our youngest thoughts remember the simple idea of it, right? Be good. Play good. Act good. We are taught what good looks like. And as we grow, we learn what it looks like to breathe goodness. To live goodness. To play goodness. Before we know it, good becomes the standard. Good becomes the goal. Good becomes what we are "good" at. We learn to play by the rules of goodness for goodness' sake, right? So what's the problem? The problem is that though we learn to present ourselves as being good, we are simply not good. It is a cover up. It is a sham. It is an outward projection of what we wish to portray without any inward confrontation of who we really are on the inside. Sound familiar?

Jesus had a problem with religious people who spent all of their time projecting goodness outwardly without taking an honest inventory of their inward problem. Exuders of goodness with happy, hollow insides. The deception is in that which we exude. We have placed so much importance on the appearance of goodness that the appearance has BECOME goodness to us. Just the appearance of it then means that it is real in our minds. And the Pharisees say in unison, "Amen, pass the potatoes!"

There is danger in the Happy Hollows. There is danger in believing that when we get the goodness game down pat, we magically become the goodness we portray--without dealing with our sin inwardly and without repentance in our minds. We have become a people who need not repent as long as we can project goodness outwardly. Happy but hollow. Happy outwardly. Dead inwardly. No wonder there are so many dying churches in America. No wonder the church has seen drastic declines in the past decade. Who needs repentance when we can cover ourselves with goodness to cover the unrighteousness that screams out loud from the hollows within?

Jesus shared his sharpest rebukes for those of us who play the goodness game. "Hypocrites!" he said. "Blind guides!" he yelled. "Empty!" he discerned. Happy. Hollow. Dying on the inside.

It would be an understatement to say that we live in a culture of people who put all importance on what is noticed outwardly, church included. But there is danger in the happy hollows. We need to re-learn repentance. A masquerade of goodness leaves our internal sin problem unresolved. This is Satan's lie, "Be good and hope for the best. God wouldn't condemn a good person, would he?" We need to re-learn the biblical truth that although we play a "good" game, "there is no one righteous, not even one...there is no one who does good, not even one." (Romans 3:10a, 12b) We need repentance! We need Christ! We need to deal with the inside, for once in our lives!

Jesus pointed out the inward need of people, the happy hollows, to show just how much our sin is masked by goodness. Jesus didn't come to save good people--he came to save sinners. Sinners who come to grips with the reality of their condition. A heart filled with spiritual cancer. A heart that is dying. A heart that resembles a bunch of dead man's bones.

There is good news for all of us! Really GOOD news! Jesus loves us in spite of us, not because what we outwardly project or for goodness cover-up. God sees past our good game, even when others around us do not. Even when the church does not. Even when the preacher does not. Everyone can buy into our happy hollows game. God does not.

Have we convinced ourselves of our own goodness by the outward projections we have learned so well to display? This is the danger of the happy hollows. May we be the people in our generation who are willing to deal with the hollows within us. May we turn to Christ for forgiveness. May we repent before God. May we live genuine lives which are concerned with much more than an outward facade.

Lord save us from the danger of the Happy Hollows. Amen.

Remembering the Glorious Escape

"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air...gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions--it is by grace you have been saved." (Ephesians 2:1-2a, 3b-5)

Do you remember the prison? Do you remember the chains? The darkness? The selfishness? The self-centeredness? We were spiritually dead. We were enslaved. Many prisoners have told stories of the horror of being behind bars. Many have even been able to see the light shine in from the window above their cell and dream of what existed outside of their dark imprisonment. Yet, we were not this way. We couldn't see any light. No flicker of hope was noticeable. In fact, we didn't even know of our imprisonment. We were blinded to it. We were blinded by it. And we were unable to do anything about it. We were enslaved without hope. Satisfied with sin. Doomed by sin. Awaiting the wrath of a holy God.

But, then it happened. The Glorious Escape. The prison break that would expose our helpless condition and provide an eternal means of escape from bondage. Only one thing could break down these sinful prison walls. Only one thing could save the day for the guilty.

It was the love of God.

Through Jesus' obedience to the Father, He took our spiritual darkness upon Himself. He carried out our sentence on our behalf. He defeated it on the cross and was raised triumphantly in victory over it for all of eternity. The result you ask? The result is that those of us who are in Christ will never know the darkness again. We will never know the chains. We will never again know the futility that comes from living only to satisfy our own desires. We have been ultimately, finally freed from this dark prison of death.

Oh, how God's saints need to remember this! We get so good at Christianity. We get so good at "doing" church. We get so good at casually skimming the surface of the Christian life that we forget the marvelous extent of God's love for us. We forget the prison break and somehow become somewhat content with our abilities as a freed man, turning a blind eye to our complete, unending need for what Christ has done for us. Almost as if we end up giving ourselves partial credit for what only Christ could do. Discrediting the full measure of God's love for us. Discrediting and forgetting the glorious escape.

This is where so many of us burn out in our Christian lives. We settle for a self-centered Christianity and forget about the marvelous love of God. We forget that we were ever imprisoned and even, at times, doubt that God may still love us. What a tragic thing it is for God's redeemed to settle for this type of living. Yet, it happens doesn't it?

A.W. Pink puts it this way, "Christ died not in order to make God love us, but because He did love His people. Calvary is the supreme demonstration of Divine love. Whenever you are tempted to doubt the love of God, Christian reader, go back to Calvary."

Are you satisfied with your life today, Christian? Or, has your love for God died alongside the ever weakening remembrance of just how sinful we once were--imprisoned in darkness? If so, maybe we just need a good reminder of the love of God. Maybe we need to remember the condition which imprisoned us with no intention of letting go. Maybe we need to remember the glorious escape that has been provided for us by the love of God expressed in Jesus Christ. A loving Father. An obedient Son. A needy sinner. A prison break. With each hand that was nailed down to the cross, a greater amount of bricks and bars were thrown to the ground by Divine love. With each thorn that pierced His brow, another shackle fell to the ground. And as Jesus breathed His last breath, the work was finished. The means of escape was available. The love of God was demonstrated to the sinful, selfish world.

God loves you. May you never forget that. We need Him just as much today as we did the day He set us free. May we never forget that.

Remember the Glorious Escape and the love of God that set us free!